Sunday, November 20, 2011

Making Raviolis

Making raviolis isn't as hard as some might try and tell you.  I don't know if it's because of the strong underground labor union of pasta makers, or just because they are made in secrecy by a fraternal organization of super-powerful businessmen who moonlight as purveyors of pasta purses.  Either way, hopefully this won't be our last post.  If it is, you can guarantee we were either attacked by union bosses and had our camera, computers and cooking utensils destroyed, or we were swept away in the night and forced to work in labor camps forever folding pasta pouches for the dark forces of the pasta-illuminati who conspire to rise against all progress of modern man and rule the world in a new empire.

Hopefully writing about our discovery of pasta making doesn't put us on some kind of watch list either.  Because it would really suck to have Mario Batali enslave us to his orange Crock kingdom that much resembles a Nike facility in some third-world country.  We are like craft brewers in the world of ravioli making now.  We haven't a clue what we are doing, we don't mass-produce, but dammit we are independent!

Our new motto is 'Occupy Pasta!'  We are going to stand up for those who are afraid, or unable to cook in the confines of their own kitchens and are held captive by the corporate constraints of Ragu and Buotoni.  Down with the man!

 

First you have to grab your spatulas and bowls. Then, embrace the freedom and independence that our four-cheese fathers intended for us when they decided that each home should have a kitchen of it's own for the sole intention of culinary freedom for the modern man, the average man, the 100%.
Next, you add in some common binding elements - the working man, who takes up the yolk and pulls together the power of the salt and seasons of the earth, with the byproduct of the heifer and the bountiful greens of the soil that we are born to cultivate and reap.


Take up your arms, hands and fingers.  Stuff your mixture of freedom, labor and love and combine it with a side of expression and individuality.  Take the empty vessel that is your future and make it your own.  Yes!  We are free individuals with choice!  With equality!  Make your pasta your own.  This is ours as much as it is yours!  We don't need the manufactured reality that the man uses to keep us subservient and reliant on his products; forever holding us back!

 

We are coming closer to the goal that we are fighting for.  We have occupied the kitchen too long to turn back now.   Now is the time to turn pacifism to action!  Break open the constraints that hold back the ingredients of our future.  Free those things which have been contained for much too long and fashion them into passionate heat pockets for all that is ours!


Take all that you have labored for and make it one!  Turn it into your own in the only way we know how.  Consume it and digest it... much like the values that come from you!  Ingest the beauty of all that you stand for in culinary freedom.  The future is now boundless and bountiful.  Now go out and break the chains that bind you to the pre-packaged, processed and manufactured with intention for mass consumption!

Unless you are too lazy to do so my brothers, for then you shall forever be stuck with the herd in the Tony Roma's and Olive Gardens of the world!  The time is now to take action.